Wednesday, May 17, 2006

A Tale of Project Management and Woe

Being a Project Manager is a big job! I learned this the hard way today by spoofing my MSN IM and pretending to be one of the managers at my office. Now don't get the wrong idea, I didn't fire anyone, say anything to damage the man's reputation, or post any funny or unprofessional pictures. And of course I admitted that it was me.

I did, of course, ask everyone for coffee.

And out of the six people that I sent IMs to, only one fell for it. Here is a typical message from me as PM. I'll call our manager "Ivan Spaulder," although that isn't his real name. And the "D" in "John D" is all fabrication on my part.

Ivan Spaulder says: John call me. We have a severe issue with data conversion. We need to truncate all names - get with Aaron on how to truncate

Ivan Spaulder says: I also need a large decaf latte from CC's if you don't mind

Ivan Spaulder says: And ask for Splenda... I can't have too much sugar

Ivan Spaulder says: One cream should be fine. Please get a stirrer

John D says: r u on drugs?

Ivan Spaulder says: does ecstacy count?

Ivan Spaulder says: are you going or what?

Ivan Spaulder says: just kidding this is Bobby

Ivan Spaulder says: did I fool you?!

John D says: well, how did you hack into Ivan's IM?

Ivan Spaulder says: I didn't, I just changed my IM name and picture

John D says: whoa!!!

Ivan Spaulder says: do you have Ivan's account info? I want to IM him but don't know what email he's associated with

John D says: you are scary!

Ivan Spaulder says: bwahaha!

Ivan Spaulder says: but seriously, I need some coffee

John D says: I don't think you need any stimulant

So you see, being a Project Manager is hard work. First of all, nobody takes you seriously. They don't listen to you or respect you. Secondly, you have to get your own coffee. Lastly, your staff ends up spoofing you and harassing other employees. The nerve of some people! So please, be kind to your local Project Managers, and give them the respect that they deserve.


Aaron said...

In the end, you did get some coffee did you not!

Bobby said...

Next time I'll ask for a massage.