I am very excited for the upcoming World Cup. For those of you who don't know what the World Cup is, let me explain: imagine a World War but with a soccer ball, a whistle, and hundreds of thousands of screaming, singing, and chanting hooligan spectators. Then imagine real guns - usually at least one person gets shot -, gang wars, the latest hair fashions and tabloid love triangles, then picture this happening every four years and you've got yourself a World Cup.
Most countries that excel in soccer pretty much suck at everything else. That is why the World Cup is so important to them. Brazil, who has recently surfaced as a leader in Ethanol production via sugar cane crop, is usually often only known for their beautiful beaches, porn industry, and of course their Word Cup domination over the past several decades. Other than that, Brazil has one of the most horrendous poverty and crime crises in the world.
And before you say that Soccer is only for the lady-men, maybe you should read this article about Carson Palmer's Cornhole Classic.
I, for one, am going to take extra steps this year to ensure my own safety during the World Cup. The last Word Cup was held in Japan and Korea, so a live broadcast usually came on TV around 3:30 in the morning. During US' win against Mexico, I suffered a hernia by jumping around my apartment and landing awkwardly on the couch. Please note: I hurt myself because I did not stretch properly beforehand, and not because I am out-of-shape and lacking any muscle mass able to withstand my own body weight. Please remember that spectatoring can be dangerous, and to take all the necessary precautions to ensure a safe and happy Word Cup season.
Hacker, Hack Thyself
4 months ago