I am taking a vacation soon. So soon, in fact, that I have already stopped working.
Vacations are a necessary evil. On the one hand, it's great to get out of the office and go explore the rest of the world. You can eat new foods, see new sights, and take pictures in front of new and exciting tourist traps. On the other hand, you leave yourself open to having your cubicle destroyed.
I have a feeling that my cubicle will be messed with, but I'm not worried: my cubicle already looks destroyed. Call it a preemptive strike on my own desk.
What I'm really hoping for is for something to happen that will go down in the record books. If I come back and it's just a regular prank, well, that's not going to help me in my quest for greatness. What I need is something stupendous.
I'm thinking of fish... maybe some duct tape. And a hamster. If we can combine all of that, maybe throw in some styrofoam peanuts, a couple of cups of water all taped together, and tin foil, then maybe, just maybe, we can make it in the Cubicle Prank Hall of Fame. I'm looking for the best of the best. Do your worst! Er... best!
Because I'll definitely be relaxed when I get home. I'll need something to kick start my metabolism into forcing my body into a fuming rage. Then it'll feel like I'm at work again.
So please, come up with something decent. You have two weeks. You may want to call in professionals.
The Existential Terror of Battle Royale
5 weeks ago