You may or may not have heard, but someone knocked up Anna Nicole Smith. I kind of feel sorry for the sick, sadistic bastard that sunk so low in his life that he could not resist himself around the TrimSpa© and Crack© spokesperson. We can be reasonably sure the father is not her 90-year-old ex-husband, as Anna Nicole Smith ate him several years ago.
But this brings up a much larger issue: Celebrities are treating babies as the latest fashion accessory.
So why are single celebrity women all of sudden finding the need to have children? Angelina had a child before she merged to become Brangelina, head of the Decepticons. Jodie Foster has her own chilluns; Eva Long-bore-ia wants one. Both Jessica Simpson and her lesbian ex-lover Nick Lachey both want children, just not together. Katie Holmes was unable to resist Tom Cruise's electric energy, but is still technically single.
I think the best solution to this problem is to have a reality TV show, where we the Audience can vote for who we want to marry these hot (or not) celebrity womenz that want to get preggers. Auditions can take place at different cities around the country, and contestants will first have to audition in front of Ron Jeremy, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell.
Hacker, Hack Thyself
2 months ago