Thursday, June 22, 2006

NYC, Day 2: The City That Never Sleeps, My Ass! I'm Tired!

We've made it to Day 2! Hurrah!

Today was an exciting day. We started out with some Go-Tarts, a combination of Gobots and Pop-Tarts. Mine was strawberry. We ended up hitting the American Museum of Natural History, which has an entire floor dedicated to dinosaur fossils. I got to rub some dinosaur bone - you know what I'm talking about. We skimmed the other three floors of the museum, because we had other shit to do, like eat pizza at John's Pizzeria.

John's Pizzeria is supposedly one of the Top 10 pizza places in New York. As a pizza connoisseur, I'd have to give it 8 slices out of 10. Since we were on Bleeker street at this point, we decided to Mac on some Cupcakes at the Magnolia Bakery. Hey, it's in SNL's Lazy Sunday, so we had to hit it.

We took our first Subway ride today. It wasn't anything like I'd expected. For instance, did you know that the Subway is like a monorail that runs underground?! Unbelievable!

We also saw an artist on the Subway. He had some pictures of sandwiches. So basically, we saw an actual Subway Sandwich Artist.

We stopped at the Dakota, where John Lennon lived and was shot. I stood on the place where he took his last breath. I gently hummed Strawberry Fields Forever, then couldn't get the Elmo Song out of my head for the rest of the day.

Next we went to Chelsea Market, where Rachel Ray and Emeril film their Food Network shows, and we did it in 30 minutes or less. Bam! We also went to see The Daily Show with John Stewart. Adam Sandler was the guest. If you watch the rerun on Friday, you can hear me call out, "You can do it!" several times before security escorts me out.

We ate at The Eatery, not knowing what to expect. Luckily they had food. Then we had coffee and dessert at Maison, a couple of blocks from Time Square. We missed K-Fed, so I couldn't mug him for pennies.

Tomorrow we are going to the Guggenheim, the MoMA, and Rockefeller Center. We're also planning to start out the day with some bagels.

One last thing: I would like to dispel the myth of "the Dirty Jew." All of the Jews we saw, met and spoke to were very clean and polite. Did I mention it costs over a buck for tap water at restaurants?

20 comments:

Aaron said...

One last thing: I would like to dispel the myth of "the Dirty Jew." All of the Jews we saw, met and spoke to were very clean and polite. Did I mention it costs over a buck for tap water at restaurants?
---

Ok you really are going to hell...

Anonymous said...

I've never commented on one of these things before. And I'm not gonna start now.

Aaron said...

Betty, could you whip your NeoNazi husband for all of the Jews.

Thanks.

Craig said...

I'm shocked and appalled by the anti-Semetic comments being posted to this website. I am removing my advertising dollars forthwith.

Or if I do not have any advertising dollars invested here, I will no longer laugh out loud and say things like "Good one Bobby" between the cubes.

Aaron said...

I agree and adhere. Time to no longer laugh with the Hitler youth. Especially since my family is Jewish.

Wild Wayne said...

WOW, a buck for tap water? Did you ask for river water instead?

Aaron said...

Instead of instant messenger, we should simply use this thread to post our conversations.

Aaron said...

I wonder if his wife knows she is married to Little Hitler.

Craig said...

River water has many vitamins and minerals which are essential to a healthy lifestyle. It also contains many of the toxins, dirt, diseases and marsupials which are essential to a healthy deathstyle.

Wild Wayne said...

Im gonna take the admin's side on this. I dont think you should get kicked out of the Dasily show for yelling "You can do it!" .

Aaron said...

From what I understand, tap water can actually be better for you than the purified water due to the increased flouride...now who wouldn't want to drink flouride?

Aaron said...

Dammit Wayne, it is the Daily show, not your mispelled Daisy show.

Craig said...

You know who else drank Flouride?


That's right, the nazis.


You know what else they drank?


Tap water.

It all comes clear now. Unlike river water which is never clear.

Wild Wayne said...

OK, now that we have established flouride does not help you win world domination, what about the Elmo song. LaLaLaLa LaLaLaLa Its Elmo's Song.

Anonymous said...

Was ist alles dieses? Ich bin mit Aaron einverstanden - Sie gehen zur Hölle in einem handbasket

Craig said...

Did you know that you can use html in the comments?

Anonymous said...

On a more useful note:

Eat here before you leave NY, Bobby.

http://tinyurl.com/mb3lo

Anonymous said...

And stop by here:

http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&q=german%20cuisine%20%2Bnew%20york%2C%20new%20york&sa=N&tab=wl

Anonymous said...

Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.

Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.

Abbott: I certainly do.

Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.

Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.

Costello: You mean funny names?

Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...

Costello: His brother Daffy.

Abbott: Daffy Dean...

Costello: And their French cousin.

Abbott: French?

Costello: Goofè.

Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...

Costello: That's what I want to find out.

Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.

Costello: Are you the manager?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: You gonna be the coach too?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?

Abbott: Well I should.

Costello: Well then who's on first?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: I mean the fellow's name.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy on first.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The first baseman.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy playing...

Abbott: Who is on first!

Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.

Abbott: That's the man's name.

Costello: That's who's name?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: Who's playing first?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Abbott: Every dollar of it.

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy that gets...

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Who gets the money...

Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello: Whose wife?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Abbott: What's wrong with that?

Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: How does he sign...

Abbott: That's how he signs it.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.

Abbott: No. What is on second base.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: One base at a time!

Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.

Costello: I'm not changing nobody!

Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.

Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: Ok.

Abbott: All right.

PAUSE

Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.

Costello: Now how did I get on third base?

Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.

Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?

Abbott: No. Who's playing first.

Costello: What's on first?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third.

Costello: There I go, back on third again!

PAUSE

Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.

Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?

Costello: Now who's playing third base?

Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?

Costello: What am I putting on third.

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: You don't want who on second?

Abbott: Who is on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together:Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.

Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.

Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.

Abbott: Who's playing first.

Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?

Abbott: No, What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first!

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: Because!

Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The pitcher's name?

Abbott: Tomorrow.

Costello: You don't want to tell me today?

Abbott: I'm telling you now.

Costello: Then go ahead.

Abbott: Tomorrow!

Costello: What time?

Abbott: What time what?

Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?

Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.

Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Gotta a catcher?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: The catcher's name?

Abbott: Today.

Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.

Abbott: Now you've got it.

Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.

PAUSE

Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.

Abbott: So they tell me.

Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.

Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

PAUSE

Abbott: That's all you have to do.

Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.

Abbott: Yes!

Costello: Now who's got it?

Abbott: Naturally.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Naturally?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.

Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's different.

Costello: That's what I said.

Abbott: You're not saying it...

Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.

Abbott: You throw it to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's what I said!

Abbott: You ask me.

Costello: I throw the ball to who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Now you ask me.

Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!

Abbott: What?

Costello: I said I don't give a darn!

Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.

Bobby said...

It was a joke. Fahget abooouuut it.