Today was a really good day. We walked through Little Italy, China Town, and SoHo. SoHo stands for "South of Houston," but these yankees pronounce "Houston" like "House-ton." I took every ounce of energy to only mug a couple of them for this gross mispronunciation.
We took the subway to Little Italy, where we saw a "Nuts 4 Nuts" vendor on the corner. I wanted some cashews, but the vendor wouldn't give me a deal after I told him that cashews were legumes and not nuts. Nuts!
We ate at the nation's oldest pizzeria, Lombardi's, in Little Italy. After all the buildup, we only give it 6 slices out of 10. Lacy, one of my former coworkers, met us there. Afterwards we went to Ferraro's, a French pastry place. I ordered a Mint Mocha, an eclair, a chocolate cannoli and a lobster tail. I mimed my order, so what I actually got was something too embarrassing to talk about on the blog.
My wife and sister bought knockoff purses from China Town. They were ushered into the back room (ie, the bathroom) of a little shop and offered some knockoffs, plus $5 sucky sucky. I shopped for mistranslated video games, but all they had were Xbox games. Screw the Xbox! Dvd? Dvd? Sunglasses? Dvd?
The highlight of the day was visting Di Palo's Cheese Shop in Little Italy. My wife's mother's friend's grandmother owns Di Palo's, and we chatted it up with Louie and Sal in the Cheese Shop. They gave us samples of two kinds of cheese, salami, and some bread. Thanks gang! My sister cut the cheese later.
We met up with one of our friends on 7th Avenue and 54th St, and then went out to SoHo, to the Terra Blues bar. I told the waitress that I was pissed that their "blues band" had white people in it, and the song was upbeat. "Screw that!" I said, then took one last trip to the bathroom before storming out.
One of our friends is a shoe salesperson for a really trendy shoe store, so the girls got free shoes. My wife looks pretty hot in them. I don't look too bad myself.
Did I mention that we hit the Church of Scientology? I told them that I firmly believed that aliens are slumbering in Earth's volcanos. I got a free ice cream.
Tomorrow we're going to church, where the Cardinal will be presiding over mass. Tomorrow night we'll be at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre, where Amy Poeler and Horatio Sans will be performing. In between, who knows - we may just walk around in high heels eating our cheese.
To Serve Man, with Software
2 months ago