Father's Day is coming up, so you need to honor your father by getting him a gift that he would probably rather you not spend your money on. The Tanory Tantrum's survery team hit the streets to find out what fathers everywhere really want for their special day.
Here are the stats: we received 17,562 online survery responses within the course of a week. 8,762 of those were either for Viagra or Levitra, and another 8,015 were for online dating. Based on this information, we can conclude that our fathers want to have sex with random strangers.
But we still have another 785 other responses leftover. After determining that 781 of those were our test team trying out their online survey spam software, that leaves us with 4 valid responses. Here they are, in all their glory.
Tanory Tantrum: What are you going to give your fathers for Father's Day?
Response 1: Crap, that's this weekend?!
Response 2: My father is no longer with us. He's not dead, we just haven't found him since Mardi Gras.
Response 3: A yellow tie.
There you have it, the Universe's greatest blog's membership has spoken. It appears that your best bet is to hire a stripper for your dad, dress her up in a yellow tie, and bring lots of Viagra. I sincerely hope that your father has a wonderful Father's Day.