Tuesday, July 04, 2006

DC, Day 7: Happy 4th of July!

Barbeque, fireworks, and our nation's capitol: a symbiosis of symbols and explosions that only our founding fathers could have made possible.

It's been well-established that George Washington loved to eat pork ribs on the Capitol's steps (Martha usually just ate the potato salad), and Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence under the red, white and blue residual lighting caused by fireworks thundering over the Washington Memorial while listening to Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA."

Actually, the history of the 4th of July only dates back to 1954, when the BBQ industry was trying to find a good holiday to associate with meat. Valentine's Day was invented to sell cards, chocolate, and teddy bears holding hearts; birthdays were invented by bakers. But after some enterprising young men from Memphis launched a bottle rocket from a tube of beef jerky, the 4th of July has been a symbol of freedom and democracy ever since.

Yesterday we revved up for this year's festivities by attending a game invented by Americans for Americans: baseball. George W. Bush used to own a baseball franchise - that's how American this sport is. We went to a DC Nationals game, where the Team of America whupped up on the Florida Marlins. Suck it, communist Florida!

Today we are planning to either go to Arlington National Cemetary or visit the Shrine of the Basilica. We may just wuss out and just go to the BBQ at Golson's place. Our days of being uber-tourists are at an end.

Tonight we will be catching the 2 am bus out of Chinatown back to New York, where we'll fly back to NO from JFK airport.

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