Did you know that vanilla comes from a bean? It's true!
That means that a serving of vanilla ice cream now counts as eating a vegetable.
It also means that I will now stop eating vanilla-flavored products. Death to veggies!
Chocolate also comes from a bean, the cocoa bean, which comes from a tree, the cocoa tree. It grows in a city, cocoa city. So chocolate is also now officially classified as being disgusting as well. Is nothing sacred?
What does this mean for you, the consumer?
Expect stocks for candy companies to plummet. Nobody likes vegetable-flavored candy.
It also means that eating healthy can be fun - be sure to look for Lean Cuisine vanilla milkshakes, available in stores this Winter.
Want to try a different way to eat those sweet beans? Try refried cocoa beans, with a side of vanilla extract - delicious!
The cocoa tree originated in South America, and came up through Central America, along with cocaine, dictyoglomus hermophilum, and Jorge Luis Borges.
Now that you have all of this great information, feel free to stop referring to people of different races as Vanilla and Chocolate, and you can instead consider ourselves all part of the Plant Kingdom.
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