Yeah, you read me right - Wii skills are life skills. Here's what happened to me today:
I was mopping with a Swiffer WetJet, because my wife told me I had to, running the mop to and fro and generally just minding my own business. Every once in a while, I would remember the goal of this mopping exercise, and spray the cleaning solution to get at a really dirty spot on the floor.
Then, out of nowhere, a spider attacks!
Now most of you out there would probably have no idea how to defend yourself from a hungry spider's lunges and web attacks. But because I've been playing The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess on the Wii for about 72 straight hours, I was totally prepared.
You see, in Zelda, the main character, Link, kills all kinds of crap with his sword, slingshot, bow and arrow - you name it, he's used it to kill something. And one of the creatures he has to kill is a spider.
So needless to say, I twirled my WetJet in my hands and set myself in a warrior's stance. Then I mercilessly thrust the handle, or hilt, of my mop into the spider's fangs, which just happened to be dripping with venom.
Bobby has just raised a level! Bobby is now a journeyman mopper.
So thanks again, Wii, for teaching me life skills, and for helping me to protect myself against the evil foes of Twilight.
To Serve Man, with Software
1 month ago