My wife's cousin is getting married tonight. Since my wife and I "are one," this technically means that my cousin is getting married tonight. This also means that I look really great in my dress. Congrats!
Since Mark and Julie are getting married, this brings up an interesting yet poignant question:
What will Julie's dog's last name be from now on?
I'm sure that adjusting to married life will be tough for the dog. For one thing, the dog will not be the center of attention for the full week that M & J are on their honeymoon. I know from my own experience that not being the center of attention can be traumatic, but thankfully that hasn't happened since '82.
And I think my past experiences will relate well to the dog's future non-attention-having experiences. For one thing, I pretty much am a dog: I eat, sleep, go to the bathroom outside and shed occasionally. I also lay on the couch a lot and eat food off the floor. That's all a dog really does, besides maybe occasionally trying to sprint through the invisible electric fence.
Being a hairy man-ape has also given me powers to understand all other types of creatures, but unfortunately "women" is not in that list. So good luck, Mark, with all of your future endeavors! And if there's any advice that I can give you, it would be to thoroughly read the following items:
How Not to Get in More Trouble with the Wife
How Not to Have to Wash the Dishes.
The Existential Terror of Battle Royale
5 weeks ago