Once when I had a headache as a young boy, my mom gave me a Tylenol gelcap - you know the kind, one end is red and the other is yellow. Well, being the middle child and all, my mind started to wander somewhere between grasping the gelcap and eating it.
It ended up in my nose.
I sat in a daze, until finally I looked around to see if anyone could notice the half of a gelcap - probably the the yellow end - sticking out of my right nostril. I snorted, and the gelcap was gone.
I've thought about that gelcap many times.
For a while I thought it was still inside of me somewhere, like maybe I snorted so hard that the pill flew up into my brain and made me super-smart. I used to dream that one day I would go to the hospital for a CAT scan and the doctor would say, son, looks like you've got a Tylenol gelcap stuck in your medulla oblongata. That would really explain a lot.
I also thought that the Tylenol gelcap would stay in my body for years and leak pain-numbing, tasty acetaminophen at such a pace that I would never feel pain. I would be invincible! Unfortunately, I never tested that theory because playing video games all day isn't really dare-devil theatrics.
But now that I'm older, I realize that I probably ingested that Tylenol gelcap.
Hacker, Hack Thyself
3 weeks ago