I spent most of the day Saturday drilling, screwing and playing with my pole. As kinky as that sounds, I was only putting up a shelf in the baby's closet.
For those of you who know me, you'll know that putting power tools within my reach is like signing your own death warrant. You never know what I'll do with those tools, because to be quite honest, I don't know what to do with them. I usually end up drilling into wires, sawing off something that keeps the building from falling over, or blowing out all the power on the street.
I know my own limitations, and it is for these reasons that I prefer to stick with the more traditional tools - illegal immigrants. But for some reason my wife thought this would be the day that I learned how to be useful, and so, with my father-in-law there to teach me and make sure I didn't electrocute myself, off I went into the deep dark depths of the baby's closet.
There's a saying that goes, "Measure twice, cut once." But it doesn't say anything about drilling, so I just eyeballed it and started to randomly drill holes in the wall. I knew when I was off-target because my father-in-law would make discouraging sounds behind me. In the end, it all worked out, and I only had to plaster twenty or so off-target holes.
I screwed in the supports for the shelf into the holes I had just drilled, then snapped the shelf into place. Voila! Instant shelf - if by instant you mean 2.5 hours later.
Next we put up the pole. But first I had to have one last photo-op with it.
My parents must be proud.
At the end of the day, we were one step closer to getting the room completely ready for the baby. We put stuff up on our new shelf, jammed other stuff into the bottom of the closet, and then Betty sat in the glider and her eyes glazed over as she thought of a billion more things for me to add to my To Do List.
Hacker, Hack Thyself
4 months ago