To my beautiful Valentine...
Before I met you I was totally lost.
Then you came along and you were my GPS in Human Form, just like in all those science fiction books I like to read.
You didn't just help me to get around town for 10 years (one day I'll learn); you also showed me how to love.
Now you are going to have my baby, which is the physical manifestation of our love. Hopefully the baby will have your good looks, your uncanny navigational skills, and my humongous genitalia.
And if our baby is a girl, I will need your GPS skills to track down every last boy on our street and tag them with RFID chips.
We make the perfect team. I love you!
Happy Valentine's Day!
The Existential Terror of Battle Royale
5 weeks ago