Betty's last day of school is in a few weeks, and then she starts her new career as a "Hot Mom." I, of course, will continue my job as Assistant Crack-whore Trainee.
Not only will Betty be a Hot Mom, but I predict that she will also be up for the "Ascension Parish Mom of the Year" award for the 2008 calendar year. She's been doing a great job with her gestational diabetes. She's also been reading several books about the baby's first few weeks of life, and she imparts the books' wisdom to me in between bouts of Guitar Hero III and Super Mario Galaxy, so I'm learning as well.
We've been taking classes, reading books, and even watching How To videos on how to be better parents for our little dude or dudette. Last night we watched a DVD about the Dunstan Baby Language, created by a woman who has a photographic memory for sound. For those of you who don't know, the Dunstan Baby Language is like an audiobook of the Rosetta Stone which translates Baby Talk into English. I even learned a new word, "Neh," which means, "I want your ta-tas now, woman!"
Man, if I had only known about the Dunstan Baby Language years ago, I could have gotten some serious ta-ta action!
In conclusion, babies are better at getting ta-ta action than I am, which should come as a surprise to no one. But if you want to learn more about the cries that babies make and what they mean, check out DunstanBaby.com. Who knows, it might help you to get your little one to sleep at night, or it might just help you see your woman's milk-engorged boobies more often. Either way, everyone wins with the Dunstan Baby Language.
Hacker, Hack Thyself
4 months ago