I was going to write a blog which threatened any young man who will eventually like to take my daughter out on a date. But then Betty's cousins told me about this great song by Rodney Atkins - it's called "Cleaning This Gun (Come On In Boy)" - and it says everything I would have written and more.
At this point I'd like to thank my father-in-law for never once threatening my life while I was dating his daughter. I've done a lot of things that, looking back, I would not find acceptable in my daughter's choice of boyfriend. One thing that comes to mind is dressing up as a caveman for Halloween and essentially just wearing a tiger-striped thong, then being photographed and put into LSU's weekly newspaper and called "The Naked Guy."
(In my defense, it was a costume party and I wanted to dress up as something extra-scary for Halloween. I think we can all agree that me in a thong is as scary a sight as we'll ever see.)
So thanks again, Jimmy, for never trying to kill me (as far as I know). I hope I have your patience when my daughter is in college.
The Existential Terror of Battle Royale
5 weeks ago