Monday, April 21, 2008

Gnome Chomsky

Me and my little one had such a great day today! And by "my little one" I of course mean my LSU Garden Gnome.

[Picture: Me and my gnome]

Betty gave me this beautiful classic figurine as kind of an inverse "pushing present." Apparently I've impressed her with my mad fathering skillz so much that she felt the need to rush out and get me something. And of course I've always wanted an LSU Garden Gnome. Who doesn't?

I named him Gnome Chomsky. Look how cute we are together! Just always be sure to support his head while you hold him.

[Picture: Me and my gnome, part deaux]

Since we just landscaped around our patio we thought we'd let Gnome Chomsky keep an eye on things outside. Now, even if I'm inside or away from the house, my garden gnome can Tiger Bait the crap out of stray cats, dogs and joggers. Is there anything more aggravating than people exercising?! Ugh!

We thought the gnome might get lonely out there all by himself at night, so we gave him a companion in the form of this awesome LSU stepping stone that our friends gave us at our patio party. See how Gnome Chomsky watches over it so diligently?

[Picture: Gnome Chomsky watches over the LSU stepping stone]

Some people have statues of the Virgin Mary in their yard (aka, Yard Maries), but we have the divine power of a tiny wizened mythical creature backed by the awesome power of the LSU Fightin' Tigahs. I hope you Tulane and Southern fans on my street are taking note.

[Picture: Gnome Chomsky watches over the LSU stepping stone]

Warning: I cannot promise you that Gnome Chomsky will show restraint or mercy upon your pet if it wanders into my garden. If you do not want your dog or cat, who routinely urinates on my Knockout Roses, to be torn to smitherines, you might want to invest in the female LSU Garden Gnome and try to divert Gnome Chomsky's attention with it. The choice is yours.

Sorry, joggers, but the gnome will be less lenient with you.

2 comments:

Tim n Sarah said...

hey there, I was wondering if I could use a couple of your pictures on my website? I just created a site for college gnomes and I want to have a section for fan pictures. Do you care if I use the one of you and your LSU gnome? Its very cute!

Bobby said...

Not at all - I'm glad someone liked these pictures besides me! Post a link to your site on this blog post once you do it so that all of my (three) Tantrum readers can view it.