Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Laser Tag Lotto

I just came up with a flippin' brilliant idea: Video game-themed Laser Tag, where the players dress up as video game characters.

In regular-ass Laser Tag you line up to get your mundane, run-of-the-mill laser gun and vest. Your vest and gun have multiple sensors which go off when your opponents shoot you. Running is discouraged, hand-to-hand combat is illegal, and if you get shot once then chances are some young punk is going to follow you around and shoot you the moment you become active again. Yawn.

But with video game-themed Laser Tag, you'd get to dress up as one of your favorite Nintendo or Xbox characters. Each character would have its own powers, and the laser tag landscape would respond to each character differently. And best of all, you'd get to kick each other's butts in new and exciting ways.

Imagine that you choose to be Mario. Mario can shoot fireballs from his hands after he picks up a Fire Flower, as everyone born after 1975 knows, so your "laser gun" would be a power glove and you'd make throwing motions with your arm in order to throw fireballs at your opponent. You could gain extra points by jumping and hitting the underside of the enemy's base, mimicking how Mario jumps and punches bricks. Or you can just gain points the easy way, by jumping on an enemy's head.

If the Mario costume is taken then you could be Samus Aran, the human bounty hunter from the Metroid series. Your laser gun would be an arm cannon. And if any of your friends make fun of you for choosing a girl character (b/c Samus Aran is a lady), just call them a dork for even knowing that (even though you've always known and have secretly wanted to get it on with her inside her Chozo armor).

Or you could be Link from The Legend of Zelda, although your sword would probably have to be a Nerf sword of some sort. Nerf swords are lame, which is why you'd also get a really cool shield to block incoming laser attacks. Plus you get to wear a tunic.

The only catch would be that at least one person would have to dress up to be the princess who gets trapped by evil-doers and gets locked in a tower for the entire game. Since most Laser Tag players are guys, that means one of the gang has to don a dress, put on a wig and some rouge, and stand in a cage for 20 minutes. If nobody volunteers for this role, a "Laser Tag Lotto" will be performed and the loser (or winner, depends how you look at it) will be tackled, tied up and thrown in a cage.

And whoever chooses to be Sonic the Hedgehog is the automatic loser.

2 comments:

Zach said...

Nah, dude. Princess Peach (as she has apparently been dubbed) got her own DS game. She runs around having mood swings. I kid you not. Your power comes from her ability to fly into a rage, cry hysterically, and become manically happy, all at the drop of a hat. Oh, and she beats things with a magical talking umbrella.

Bobby said...

Mood swings, raging hormones, crying hysterically, beating things up with inanimate objects, the ability to turn her emotions on and off at the drop of a hat... maybe Princess Peach is going through menopause.