One of the parents from Betty's school opened a cupcake shop called Sweet Wishes in Baton Rouge. It's right down the road from Betty's school, and every day while Betty was preggers she would have to drive by Sweet Wishes on the way to work and hanker for a cupcake.
But alas, she couldn't have one because of her gestational diabetes.
So the only thing that Betty wanted after the baby was born was one of those cupcakes. She didn't want to really see me or admire the flowers I gave her. No. She wanted one of those cupcakes. And she let it be known in no uncertain terms that unless I had a cupcake for her that I could go try to make another baby with myself.
The morning after Anne was born Betty had company, so I took that opportunity to go home, take a shower, try to nap and maybe rock out on Guitar Hero for a little while. My parents were at my house and we had planned on carpooling back to the hospital. I told them about my plan to get cupcakes and my parents looked up Sweet Wishes' phone number. And wouldn't you know it, they were closed.
But how we found out they were closed is that someone at Sweet Wishes actually answered the phone and told my dad that they were closed. Now I don't know about you, but if I'm at work and we're closed then potential customers can kiss my fanny because I'm done for the day. But lucky for me the people at Sweet Wishes go above and beyond.
I heard my dad say, "Oh, you're closed? That's too bad." Wet, naked and now scared that I could not get my wife her cupcake, I jumped out of the shower and sprinted out to the living room, snatching the phone out of my dad's hands. While my parents recovered from seeing my naked body glistening in all its glory, I told the girl on the phone my plight in one quick breath. I must have packed two hundred words of pleading into ten seconds. And my cries of desperation worked: she agreed to stay open for another half hour or so.
To make a long story short, we bought all the cupcakes they had, Betty got her cupcakes, and I got to not go make another baby with myself. And we learned that Sweet Wishes can come true, and they can also come in chocolate, vanilla, butterscotch and red velvet.
The Existential Terror of Battle Royale
5 weeks ago