On Saturday the girls all went to see Sex and the City while us men stayed home with the chilluns. I didn't want Anne to miss out on Ladies' Night, so together we pretended like we were in an episode of Sex and the City.
It was faaaabuloooous!
For starters, she laid in her Pack N Play while I typed on the computer, narrating along with the words I typed. "Just how dangerous is an open heart?" I typed and tapped. "Apparently not as dangerous as an open diaper. Mom, where do you keep your carpet cleaner?"
Then Anne tried on various designer diapers. Oh my Gawd, you should have seen the Huggies - hated it! But she looked so cute in her Pampers. "Wait til the two month old boys see you in those!" I exclaimed, then immediately starting cleaning my gun.
She can't wear shoes yet so instead we tried on over a hundred pairs of socks. She finally decided on the pink ones with sparkles, and wouldn't you know it, they were also the first pair she tried on. It was like going shopping with my wife, but with poopy diapers.
Finally, we found an answer to our original question ("Just how dangerous is an open heart?") by watching the Discovery Channel, as they showed an open-heart surgery. Apparently having an open heart is very dangerous, but having skilled professionals there to assist you reduces the danger level tremendously.
As I put Anne to bed I told her that although Mommy went to see "Sex and the City," both Mommy and Daddy were firm believers in "Abstinence and the City." I then disassembled and reassembled my gun while blindfolded.
To Serve Man, with Software
2 months ago