Sunday, August 24, 2008

After the Olympics

Now that the Olympics are over I'll have to find other ways to spend my time, like going back to work, mowing the lawn or showering. But after lounging on the couch for over two straight weeks, transitioning back into any semblance of a normal routine will be challenging.

One way I might ween off the Olympics is to research the Olympic controversies and their repercussions.

For instance, the OIC investigated the actual age of China's gold medal-winning gymnast, He Kexin, who was listed as being 16 (the minimum age for Olympic gymnasts) but was previously reported as being 13. Regardless of whether Kexin is 13 or 16, we can rest easy knowing that whoever registered her as 13 in the previous competition will be dismembered by the Chinese government.

Another controversy that I can research is to identify all the parts of the opening ceremonies that were faked. So far the world knows that the fireworks were faked, but what I've discovered from literally minutes of in-depth research is that the drumming sequences were also faked. Apparently there weren't 2008 drummers as we were previously told, but just one drummer and 2007 mirrors.

David Blaine and his brethren of mirrored selves would be proud.

If only there are enough replays of the USA women's beach volleyball, gymnasts and the track and field teams, there just might be enough sandy crotches and skin-tight spandex to last me through the week. All I have to do is make it to August 30th, when LSU will play and subsequently crush Appalachian State, and I'll be weened off my addiction to the Olympics.

Geaux Tigahs!

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