Saturday, August 30, 2008

Gustav and Katrina Mysteries Unraveled

Someone told me that Hurricane Gustav is named after King Gustav I of Sweden, whose third wife was Katrina.

The connection was stressed as such: Gustav is three years after Katrina, and Katrina was Gustav's third wife!

Oh my gawd! It's a conspiracy!

But wait: It gets worse.

Gustav and Katrina had a daughter named Hanna, who married a man named Andrew, and together they had two children: Ivan and Betsy.

Oh no! Those are all names of devastating hurricanes, too!

Ivan and Betsy, being part of the royal family, were of course inbred, but they still managed to reproduce. In fact they shagged like rabbits, which was all the rage in Sweden back then. And wouldn't you know it, but all of their children happened to have the same names as the rest of the 2008 Hurricane Names list: Ike, Josephine, Kyle, Laura, Marco, Nana, Omar, Paloma, Rene, Sally, Teddy, Vicky and Wilfred.

(Teddy had a dog named Rita.)

Everybody panic!

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