Now that my house in inhabited by two females, I felt the need to offset the surge in estrogen by "manning up" the house.
To masculinize the house I first gave my yard a Mohawk, because nothing is manlier than a Mohawk. To do this I first let my yard grow to an unconscionable height, which took about three weeks. I knew my yard was ready when the neighbor's kids lost their basketball in my yard. Then I mowed a third of the yard on each side, leaving just one awesome section of four foot tall weeds trailing down the center.
Picture of my lawn mid-Mohawk.
Next I scoured the house to find something to make more manly. This banana and pair of tomatoes were perfect for manning up. Nothing says "I'm a man!" like making a wiener and balls out of fruit. Now this dainty fruit tray can stand tall and share its manliness with the world.
Finally, I shaved all of my weekend stubble except for my mustache. Nothing says "Look at how manly I am!" like a two day-old mustache.
Well, sorry to say but I have to cut this blog short. All of my uber-manliness has gotten the attention of my wife. Victory!
Oh wait, she just wants me to go out and finish mowing the lawn.
So much for manning up the house.
Hacker, Hack Thyself
4 months ago