If you didn't catch the news this morning, here's all you need to know:
There was no bailout.
For those of you who were against the bailout (of which I am one), don't dance your Irish jig yet. Many of the members of the House of Representatives who did not vote for the bailout only voted that way due to fears of not being re-elected in five weeks. After the election in November, those Congressman may have a change of heart.
Of course, the entire question of a $700 billion bailout is put into perspective when you consider that we have a $10 trillion public debt, and a $60 trillion debt if you include Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security.
But since the current bailout has failed, I hereby propose a new bailout:
Instead of spending $700 billion in taxpayer money, just give me $100 billion and a round trip ticket for 3 to Las Vegas, and I'll play Craps for an hour.
Seriously, the bailout was going to have about the same odds of fixing the economy as a rousing game of Craps. Why not let me be the guy to bring us through this crisis?
And if I crap out (which will symbolically mean the economy is in the crapper), you can say that the economy has been "Tanory'd" - which will mean it lost a lot of money, but still managed to save taxpayers $600 billion.
And if I win, I'll take whatever share the casino is currently taking for Pai Gow. Hey, fair is fair!
Every American has a duty. Playing Craps is mine.
Oh, and just for full disclosure, I will be playing the Hard Six, because that's how I roll! Deal with it.
Hacker, Hack Thyself
2 months ago