My wife loves to tell the story about how one year she and her family went to Brazil to visit her Uncle Jay. In her story, she eats 7 fried bananas in one sitting at a local restaurant - after eating a full meal. And every time she re-tells this story, she always makes sure to point out that she ate more bananas than everyone else at the table.
To hear her tell the story, she's famous down in Brazil. For all she knows, they've built a statue of her up on a mountain.
While recounting her experience of demolishing an entire banana crop in one sitting, Betty told me one interesting things about Brazilian restaurants: the waiters walk around with large chunks of meat on sticks and cut slices off onto your plate.
A walking buffet? Can a restaurant get any better?
As luck would have it, a new Brazilian restaurant just opened in Baton Rouge called Texas de Brazil. Betty wanted to go for her birthday, but I wanted to go because secretly I wanted to have a banana showdown.
Texas de Brazil is located in the Perkins Rowe shopping center on the corner of Bluebonnet and Perkins. When we walked in I made sure to tell the hostess that although she might work at a Brazilian restaurant, my wife actually went to Brazil and ate at a real Brazilian restaurant. We don't mess around.
True to its theme, the servers at Texas de Brazil brought random cuts of meat to our table. At first I was a little unsettled by seeing large Brazilian men with sharp knives walking around with flank steak on a spike, but after a while I got used to it... eating 80 pounds of meat in one sitting will make you complacent.
At the end of the night we were presented with a bowl containing two fried bananas. Betty quickly took a bite of the first banana, then her eyes glazed over while she recounted how, one time when her family was visiting her Uncle Jay in Brazil, she ate seven bananas.
This was it! This was my cue!
I quickly scooped up the remaining banana and shoved it into my mouth. I tried to say, "It's on!" but it came out like "Mmfff ommph!" We had officially began our banana showdown! And eight bananas later, we had a winner:
She retains her title of banana queen. She beat me by a banana and a half. And just for the record, I'm like 700x her size. She just out-ate me.
My only comfort is knowing that while in Brazil she probably ate plantains and not bananas. Eating 7 plantains isn't a big deal. Anybody could do that, right?
I demand a rematch.
Hacker, Hack Thyself
2 months ago