Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Watchmen

Today I went to see The Watchmen, which I assumed was about men who made watches. What can I say - I love horology.

One of the movie's characters, named Jon Osterman, aka Dr. Manhattan, was the son of a watchmaker, so I guess in a sense you can say that the movie was in fact about men who made watches.

But it was also about men who dress up like superheroes and kick the living crap out of everyone else, including other superheroes.

My broseph-in-law Danny bought me the graphic novel of The Watchmen a month or two ago, and I loved it. It has real depth to it. In fact, The Watchmen was on Time Magazine's All-Time 100 Novels.

Suck it, Koontz!

I was excited for the movie, but heard both really good and really bad things about it. It seemed like fans of the comic loved it, and people who hadn't read the comic hated it. And after watching the movie, I can see both points of view.

The thing is, this movie is less like a typical movie than it is an animated comic book. It's like watching a comic book being read aloud, and visualizing the frames coming to life. That's the best way I can describe it. If a movie reel and a comic book did the nasty, this would be the product.

Although I really liked the movie, I do have one criticism: there's too much slow motion.

The Watchmen was directed by the same guy who did 300 - the movie about the Battle of Thermopylae. If you remember, that movie had a lot of shouting, a lot of mostly naked manly men with beards, and lots of killing - all done in sloooow mooootioooon.

For those of you who've seen the movie, you're probably wondering why I didn't criticize the fact that there was blue penis on the screen for inordinate amounts of time. Furthermore, you might be questioning why I am not criticizing it.

Well, my wife always complains that too many movies show ta-tas but none show wiener schnitzel, so having an atomic penis grace the screen seemed like a good way to get women in the theater. And I think we can all agree that us comic book fans need a lot of help getting women into the same room.

So if you are a comic book fan, or you want to see a good movie in slow motion, or if you're a woman who's into atomic dongs, go see The Watchmen.

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