My daughter is learning all kinds of new words. For example, if you say "nose" then she'll point to her nose. If you say "ear" then she'll tug on her ear. And if you say "toes" then she'll point to her hair.
My wife recently taught her where her belly button is. If you say "belly button," "barn burner," or "big bunny" she'll point to her belly button. It's pretty freakin' cute.
But my job as DaDa is to do more than just teach her words and meanings; I also have to show her how the world works. And we all know what buttons do: they either hold things together, or if they're colored red then they set off a nuclear holocaust with the Russians.
So how to explain the belly button?
Do I teach her that the belly button is a button in the sense of "holding things together"? If so, then she might think that her skin is some sort of onesie. I don't know how that's going to work.
If I teach her that her button can be pressed to toggle something, what should it toggle? Should pressing her belly button make a sound?
So many choices, so little time!
Of course, I could just teach her that her belly button, also known as navel or umbilicus, is a scar from when her umbilical cord fell off. But then I'd have to explain how she used to live in Mommy's belly, then she'd want to know how she got in there, and then I'd have to make up something extremely elaborate and sophisticated in the hopes of boring her senseless.
I think I'm going to say that the belly button toggles something. Seems like the safest course of action.
So my question to you, dear readers, is what bodily function do you envision to occur when you press your belly button?
Hacker, Hack Thyself
2 months ago