Monday, May 18, 2009

Deceptively Delicious

My wife's been making meals from a cookbook called Deceptively Delicious, by Jerry Seinfeld's wife. The "delicious" part is all true - everything we've had from the cookbook has been fantastic.

But the "deceptive" part is not for the faint of heart. Seinfeld instructs the reader to hide vegetables in the form of pureed mush (or sometimes just flax seeds) in whatever you're cooking. Recipes for chicken, meat loaf, fish, and even brownies are in the book, and that means all of my food might be contaminated with disgusting vegetables.

I found out about Mrs. Seinfeld's evil plot to make us all unknowingly eat vegetables quite by accident. I was laying on the couch when I reached behind my head to grab my book, but instead I grabbed Betty's book. The first line of the page stopped me in my tracks. It read something like, "Grind up a bunch of disgusting shit and throw it in your husband's food without his knowledge!"

Lies! Deceit! Vegetables!

I don't play around about veggies. I started the Veggielution, in case you forgot. So when Betty asked me to stir some soup tonight while she showered, I launched a counterattack by taking four pieces of pizza from the fridge and shredding them in the blender. Then I poured the liquefied remains into the soup, stirred liberally, and served hot in a big bowl.

Take that, Seinfeld! Two can play at this game!

1 comment:

Wifey said...

Ha Ha... The pizza had veggies on it too!