People call me "Big Mac," not because I eat a lot of Mickey D's but because I'm a larger, more attractive version of "Little Mac" from Nintendo's Punch Out. In case you forgot (or never knew) what Little Mac looked like, here's an updated picture of him from a recent Nintendo release:
And since Punch Out just came out for the Wii, I feel like I have to defend my title of "Big Mac" and beat the everliving crap out of some digital nemeses. I also think that this would be a good time for evil-doers / brother to get a glance at my "guns" and think twice before messing with me.
Here's me in my black wife-beater and green shorts. You can see that my little bro, Little Mac, stole my threads. But I don't blame him. Who wouldn't want to look this awesome?
Okay, the game just started. Here's me looking serious and intense. My opponent just crapped his digital shorts. Either that or Betty was right - I'm overdo for a shower.
Super punch! I hope that hurt my opponent more than it hurt me... I haven't worked out in a few years and I think I sprained something on this punch.
TKO, mofo! I hit him so hard that my daughter's toys fell out their toy box. And if Anne's Skippyjohn Jones book got torn during the aftermath of that punch, I'm going to TKO that guy again!
Victory! I'm still the champ! Big Mac reins supreme!
It doesn't matter that I was playing 2 Players but didn't have anyone using the second controller - I still won the fight and that's what counts!
If you or someone you love wants to get smacked down in Punch Out, give me a few hours notice so I can go through my pre-game routine and then drop by to get your digital lights knocked out!
Hacker, Hack Thyself
1 month ago