Saturday, August 15, 2009

Bringing Sexy Back... to Real Estate

I've been thinking a lot about my dad's new blog, Real Estate for Workaholics.

My dad has a lot of great tips for how first-time home buyers can save money, how to correctly price out your home, etc. But I think he needs to do something more than just give people good information.

He needs to bring sexy back to the real estate market.

I know you have questions, such as how can anyone, much less one man, bring sexy back? And when did sexy ever leave?

I'll give you an example. Here's a home that I found online. Nice sized lawn, garage on the side in the back, not too much in terms of landscaping... pretty basic, right?


[Picture: Mundane house photo]

Now watch as I apply some subtle marking magic, and voila!

[Picture: Sexy house photo!!!]

Booyah!!! Sexy has been brought back!

Notice how the two breast-like protrusions on the house have been covered by a bikini top. This allows the home buyer to use his or her imagination to think about what's behind that fabric. Enticing!

And notice how I've crudely photoshopped Borat into the mix. That mankini is not also a fashion statement, but it's the most recognizable mankini on the market. (Warning: If you are a realtor, you may have to dress yourself in a mankini instead of using Borat's image, otherwise you might be sued. I will pose for your pictures for a percentage of the closing costs.)

Think about it: houses are classified as a long-term investment, and paying one off can take 30 years or more. But the American consumer likes to think in terms of instant gratification. So be like the car magazines and give your buyers what they want - someone sexy lounging the roof and hugging the chimney spout wearing nothing but a g-string. They'll thank you for it later, with their repeat business.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Bob,

I've been in real estate for a little over three years and have never thought of bringin sexy back . . . what an inspiration? BOOYAH! is going to be my next favorite closing line, next to "damn, this house is SUPER-FABULO-FLAZ-MATICA-TASTIC!" Thanks Bob!

Robbie Breaux