Wednesday, August 05, 2009

The Only Picture of Sonia Sotomayor

Is it just me, or does every article about Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor have the same picture of her? You know, the one that looks like this:

[Picture: Image of Sotomayor hunched over]

Couldn't they have found a better picture to use? It looks like she's lunging for prey or about to rip meat off a carcass with her mighty incisors and man-hands.

[Picture: Sotomayor with her lion pack]

Or maybe this picture is supposed to make Ruth Bader Ginsburg think twice before starting a cat fight in the Supreme Court chambers.

[Picture: Sotomayor verses Kittens]

Or maybe the wise Latina was explaining, in judicial terms, a process called "erotic asphyxiation in anticipation of an avian culinary dish" - or in layman's terms, "choking the chicken".

[Picture: Sotomayor verses Kittens]

Of course, I could be wrong and this single picture could have just been what was available to newspaper reporters at the time their articles were published. For all I know, Sotomayor doesn't really like to rip a living creature's flesh off its hide using her teeth and bare hands, but that's just my best guess as to how she spends her free time.

In fact, I only know three things about Sotomayor:

1. She pissed off a bunch of firefighters in New Haven over one of her rulings, but her ruling was eventually overturned by the Supreme Court;

2. She ended a professional baseball strike and Obama claims she "saved baseball"; and

3. She's a vampire whose motto is that she "takes a bite out of crime, then drains its lifeless corpse of all its bodily fluids."

[Picture: Count Sotomayor]

Watch out, Scalia! Sotomayor craves your human flesh!

No comments: