Betty bought me a pumpkin carving kit. She said it wasn't because I suck at carving pumpkins but was instead an affirmation of my mad pumpkin carving skillz.
As Betty explained it, "Anyone can carve a boring jack-o-lantern face into a pumpkin." By that she meant that not everyone can carve a dong into a pumpkin, which is what I did a few years back. Betty must have been thoroughly impressed by my herioc act of sketching then carving a pumpkin dong, and thought a pumpkin carving kit with intricate designs was just what I needed to challenge my skills.
So I tore open my carving kit then and then read then instructions on what all these newfangled tools were for. I had a "poker", a "tracer", a "scooper" and a "saw". Yes, a saw. This pumpkin kit didn't mess around.
I also had to choose which design to carve. There was a Mickey, a Minnie, a Donald, a Pinnochio, and a few other Disney favorites. I chose the Minnie, because Annie loves Minnie (and was even dressed like her), but really I wanted to carve Pinnochio because that was the closest thing to the pumpkin dong that I had previously carved. I didn't want to stray too far from what I was good at.
The end result was pretty neat: a faintly lit Minnie Mouse face glowing in a pumpkin. I'm sure it's what Walt Disney had in mind when he first drew her.
It's good... but I think I've done better. Maybe next year I'll carve the "return of the pumpkin dong."
Hacker, Hack Thyself
3 weeks ago