Saturday, November 14, 2009

Coming Home to LSU

Betty and I took Anne to Sorority Row on LSU's campus for the Homecoming parade. My parents, Betty's parents, our cousin and our niece met us out there.

[Picture: One big happy family!]

The place was decked out in cray paper, posters and girls wearing boots with skirts. Seriously, every girl had on boots. I can understand wearing boots if it's muddy, but not on a beautiful day like today. Although, in the girls' defense, there was a lot of horse shit out on the parade route.

[Picture: The source of the alleged horse manure: horses butts]

This fashion fad of skirts and boots is apparently so popular right now that there were even men wearing them!

[Picture: You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to, you say kilts, I say skirts.]

I love being on LSU's campus. Every time I go I have several non-drug induced flashbacks. For instance, my first flashback today occurred when I saw all of the chicken wire and cray paper used for the Homecoming decorations... they reminded me of when I was a pledge and got "bought" at my fraternity's Pledge Auction. I thought I was in for a fun night with a girl who was paying for my (hopefully naked) company, but instead I had to pomp for hours on end at a sorority house.

It might be slave labor, but you can't deny the results:

[Picture: Anne and Betty in front of thousands of hours of work]

My second flashback occurred when a guy in a cow suit rode by us on a float. In addition to wearing my cow outfit to several parties and to Mardi Gras, I also wore it to my Animal Psychology class on Halloween Day during my senior year.

[Picture: My protégé]

My third and final flashback occurred when the Women's Diving team rode by us. They were wearing their wet suits, and they weren't zipped up all the way. Sexy? You betcha. Original? No way - I did this back in '99. I give these ladies a 9.9.

[Picture: My other protégés]

Besides decorations, girls in wet suits and man-cows roaming the parade, there were also a lot of hot bitches on campus.

[Picture: Hot dogs!]

Well, I assume those dogs were hot, anyway.

The parade was fun, but the riders weren't throwing enough in my opinion. We hooted, we hollered, some of us even exposed our man-boobs, but it was all for naught. Sure, the kids caught a lot of stuff, and some girls caught boot-loads of candy, but us men got a raw deal. We had to resort to picking beads and candy up from off the ground.

My mom even got into the spirit of the event and picked up beads and candy from the ground. I took a picture of it, since it's such a rare event for my mom, a germophobe, picking anything up off the ground, much less food. And much less from a ground with horse manure on it. Go, Mom!

[Picture: An historical event!]

Cow suits, spandex, horse manure, kilts... it was great to come home to LSU. I can't wait until next year!

No comments: