Betty, Anne and I went to the Audubon Zoo in New Orleans for Auntie's (Betty's aunt's) birthday. As it just so happens, it was also Swamp Fest at the zoo, which meant we got to eat lots of good food and listen to some great music in addition to watching the monkeys do it.
Betty and I love the food at Swamp Fest. One year they had spinach and artichoke bread, which was basically a large calzone. It still haunts us to this day - it was that good! We couldn't find that particular fair food this year, but when we did see something that we wanted to try, we'd send the little one in for a hand-out. Nobody can resist my little munchkin.
Anne enjoyed looking at all of the animals. She would get into the zone while watching the tigers sleep or the monkeys throw feces. At one point she Bob Stared a Thompson's Gazelle until it couldn't meet her eye anymore and ran off.
Betty was also amazed by some interesting sights. Here's a picture of her after looking at my incredible throat sac, which I can inflate when I'm trying to impress women or when I've had too much fatty foods for the past few weeks.
There's a new orangutan at the zoo. It's a baby, and it wears diapers. Annie saw it, smiled real big and pointed at it, then called it "D" - which is what she calls her uncle Danny. Or maybe it was Betty calling it that... I can't remember.
Don't feel bad, D. Last trip to the zoo, Anne pointed at a gorilla and called it Dada.
While reviewing the pictures of this cute little orangutan, I noticed that it wears the same diapers as Annie. The ones shown below are the kind Anne goes to bed in. They're super-absorbent. Hey, if they're good enough for the baby orangutan, they're good enough for my kid.
A lot of people wore their LSU gear to the zoo. We also saw a lot of Saints fans. Here's a picture of a Saints fan that must not know that the Saints are whupping butt this year, as this fan had an "Aints" paper bag over his head.
We were at the zoo from 10:15 until 2 pm. Since Anne's nap time is usually between 12 and 2, we had to give her some extra sugar during the day to keep her going. I also needed some extra sugar, but since Betty wouldn't ravish me in front of all the animals (and Swamp Fest partyers), we settled for some cotton candy.
As for the animals, the most amazing sight in my opinion was a large turtle orgy. Just look at those things go! Drink lots of fluids, gang!
We also saw some giraffes playing Duck, Duck, Goose. Three giraffes sat around - we had never seen giraffes sitting before, so this was really neat - and then another giraffe would run around and tap another giraffe on the head, at which point the tapped giraffe would go ballistic and smack the first giraffe in its neck.
Usually the animals at the zoo are cute and cuddly, but we saw a suicidal elephant who was about to jump off a ledge into the nether regions of the elephant pit. This elephant was finally talked down from the ledge by a guy holding a bag of peanuts.
And I didn't know this, but apparently the zoo has its own area for older women looking to score with a younger man.
Anne had a great time at the zoo. She climbed Monkey Hill and then made friends with a large bronze lion sitting at the top. Then she climbed down, climbed back up, made friends again... she did this about 20 times. Dada followed her up and down the whole way, and let's just say that Dada needs to exercise more.
She also had fun with her cousin, David. At the play area, Annie raced David down the slide several times.
Then David started to impersonate the monkeys by hanging off the slide. Look at how strong that boy is! He did three chin-ups before Julie talked him down.
Around 2 pm, it was time to start heading out. Annie was tired, Mommy was tired, and Daddy had to go yell at the TV while the Tigers lost to Alabama. But before we left, Annie took Auntie on a carousel ride.
Then it was smooches all around.
And then it was time to go nighty night on the ride back.
Happy birthday, Auntie! Thanks for letting us spend the day with you. We had a great time!
To Serve Man, with Software
2 months ago