Santa's coming to our house tonight!
Usually Santa comes the night of Christmas Eve, but this year Santa decided that Earth's population is too large to continue to go to everyone's house on the same night. So now he's also delivering loot on the 23rd. Santa just doubled his capacity without increasing productivity!
Today also happens to be my brother's birthday. And since tonight technically now also counts as Christmas, my brother's birthday is officially a Birthmas! Merry Birthmas, Todd!
Since Santa is expected to come to our house, and we assume to bring presents instead of coal, we decided to leave Santa and his reindeer a treat. We left Santa a gingerbread man, a cookie and some milk, and we left his reindeer a carrot.
We figure that Santa can either give the carrot to his favorite reindeer, cut it up into 8 pieces and divvy it up accordingly, or hold it out in front of his reindeer's noses to make them fly faster. Or maybe they can do something really kinky with it - who knows what reindeer do nowadays.
I tried to convince Betty that Santa wants something other than a cookie and milk. The man eats cookies and milk all night - his blood sugar must be through the roof! I had the following suggestions: a Fiber One bar, a salad, and a Coke Zero. As for the reindeer, I figured we could give them a tote bag to rap around their hind-quarters to catch any reindeer waste, as otherwise someone's getting more than just coal down their chimney.
Merry Christmas, everybody!
To Serve Man, with Software
4 months ago