Now that I have LSU golf pants, I should really think about taking up golf. Maybe the sheer awesomeness of my pants will distract other golfers, making them play worse and therefore me play comparatively better.
But golf is expensive. So I was thinking... since all of Tiger Woods' sponsors are distancing themselves from him, maybe they'd be interested in sponsoring me.
Here's a draft of what I'm thinking. Click on the picture for a bigger image.
As you can see, the sponsors would be getting a "two for the price of one" deal, or as we like to say in golf terms, a Birdie. They would be sponsoring me on the PGA tour, as well as my daughter, Anne, on the CPGA Tour (Children's PGA Tour).
If there's not already a CPGA then I've just invented it. See what I bring to the table, Potential Sponsors?
Ever since Betty and I started watching Mad Men, I've had a lot of enthusiasm for coming up with catchy ads. So I've already done the work for the sponsors. Notice the PGA Tour logo with the extra "nine iron" hidden in the logo? That was my idea. Notice the love handles sponsored by pizza and ice cream? That can be any pizza and/or ice cream shop, it doesn't have to be generic. Or we can have different sponsors for the different love handles. I'm up for anything.
I've even come up with a slogan for myself: This Tiger's Not Lost in the Woods.
So if you are a sponsor for Tiger Woods and would like to sponsor my foray into golf, please leave a comment - or just send me a check for a nice chunk of change. As for Anne, you can leave a comment here, on her website, or send a check for her college fund.
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