Monday, February 15, 2010

Party Gras!

We're out in N'awlins for Mardi Gras, aka Lombardi Gras, where the Saints are reigning supreme. And "reign" is not a figurative word here... Drew Brees was the king of Bacchus, so technically he is reigning over us peasants.

They even minted dabloons with Brees's likeness on them. The dabloons are worth at least two flashes in the French Quarter, although there've been reports that they can be bartered for one full flash, a half-flash of side-boob and a drunken make-out session under the "Huge Ass Beers" sign.

Man, I love love New Orleans.

Legend has it that Betty was born on Mardi Gras day, so her family celebrates her birthday on Mardi Gras every year as a "Lunar Birthday." I usually celebrate Betty's lunar birthday by dressing up in my cow outfit, wearing a shirt to cover my udders and wait for old people / foreigners to walk by, then I flash them. Basically my gift to Betty is to make her and everyone else smile, and occasionally get threatened by cops. You can say that it's the gift that keeps on giving.

This year I opted out of wearing the cow outfit. It was a tough decision because I had the perfect plan: I was going to cut out a picture of Peyton Manning's face and wear it on my udders, so when I lifted my shirt I would be flashing Peyton's face. I thought that would get a lot of attention. But then I thought that people would be throwing large bags of beads directly at my udders, which are precariously positioned right on top of my "bead bags", so then I thought better of it.

Instead, I'm going to celebrate Betty's lunar birthday by dressing up in my Donald Duck outfit. The theme for this year's Mardi Gras is "Black and Gold" - and everyone is encouraged to wear Saints gear. So I think by wearing my Donald outfit, I will stand out. Plus it will give me extra protection from the cold, not to mention the flying beads and falling bullets that are so common in New Orleans.

We'll post pictures when we get home. Happy Mardi Gras everybody!

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