Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Best Picture

Betty and I just watched The Hurt Locker, which recently won Best Picture at the Oscars, and I have a couple of complaints.

Full disclore: I am an Avatar fanboy.

First, the name "The Hurt Locker" is totally inaccurate. At no point were there any lockers, and if there were, they were in perfect working order. There were no nerds locked up in lockers... no people in Foot Locker uniforms... and no politicians talking about lock boxes. In actuality, this movie was about the war in Iraq, and about a group of guys who go around disabling bombs.

In contrast, take the name "Avatar." We know what the word "Avatar" means: either a manifestation or appearance of a deity, or a computer user's representation of himself/herself or alter ego. (Or both, if you are a deity addicted to World of Warcraft.)

Second, The Hurt Locker didn't seem to have a lot of emotion, other than suspense, anger, confusion... okay, maybe it did have a lot of emotion, but it sure felt emotionless to me.

In contract, Avatar had was chock full of emotion. Remember that scene where the hot, blue CGI chick screams something at the other guy? Or the time the sexy blue thingy with no bra was jumping around in a tree, in a very emotionally complex way? Or the time the little white, floaty tree seeds landed on the pretty blue girl with perky, digital ta-tas? I may or may not have teared up during that part.

Finally, Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker's director, is sexist. Think about it: The Hurt Locker only has three scenes with women in it, if you exclude the scenes having old Iraqi women with covered faces. Bigelow, you totally slighted women! How sexist of you!

In contrast, James Cameron had some very interesting, "developed" female characters. (Notice my double entendre. I'm referecing breasts here, in case you didn't realize.)

Look, all I'm saying is that while The Hurt Locker was a good movie, it wasn't the best movie of the year. Avatar is going to change the way that movies are made for years to come. Samsung, Panasonic and Sony are all now releasing new 3D HDTVs. And guess which blue, naked alien is going to be popular this Halloween?

Betty and I were bored with The Hurt Locker. In my opinion, giving The Hurt Locker the Academy Award is just a do-over for when they passed up Saving Private Ryan in favor of Shakespeare in Love.

But neither The Hurt Locker nor Avatar were better than The Hangover. Be honest, you loved it. The ending credits alone should have earned the movie an Oscar.

What was your favorite movie this past year and why?

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