Friends and family,
I write to you now in desperation. I need your support to help save the Tanory Tantrum. I don't need your money... your prayers would be nice... but what I really, really, really need from you is this:
A butterfly garden.
"What is a butterfly garden?" you ask. Well, it's a mesh, cylindrical thingy that you put cocoons in, and when the butterflies emerge from their chrysalises, the butterfly garden is what they fly around in. It looks like the picture in this link.
Betty says she has one, but it's in a box with some old books. But I can't find the butterfly garden, or the box - or any of the boxes that she thinks I should find. It wouldn't be a big deal had she not asked me about it every day for the last month and if we didn't think the butterflies were going to emerge any moment.
Damn my amazing procrastination skills!
Why is the Tanory Tantrum in jeopardy? Basically, if I don't find a butterfly garden, Betty's going to kill me. I'm not joking. And since I'm the only writer for the Tantrum, that means the Tantrum would come to a halt.
As a former teacher, Betty wants to teach my daughter how butterflies emerge from their cocoons. As a mother, she wants my daughter to experience this magical moment. And as a pregnant wife, she's going to have a roid rage and smash my face in if I don't find a butterfly garden pronto.
Please help save the Tanory Tantrum by saving me from total annihilation! Call me, email me, snail mail me, call my parents, call Betty's parents - just get in touch with me. Name your price and you've got it! I just need it in time for these butterflies to hatch.
Help me, Obie Wan, you're my only hope!
The Existential Terror of Battle Royale
5 weeks ago