At the start of the NCAA men's basketball tournament, otherwise known as March Madness, I filled out a bracket on Yahoo! sports. But since I don't follow basketball and don't trust the seeds/rankings, I decided to put the "madness" in March Madness and associate each team with a psychotic disorder, then vote on which disorder beats the other.
So far I'm in 2nd place out of 7 contestants. Not too shabby, really.
I randomly selected a psychosis out of a hat, scratched out the team's name on the bracket and replaced it with the psychosis. In some cases this worked well, like when I associated Pseudohypoparathyroidism with Missouri and Hypnagogia with Clemson, or when I associated Cyclothymia with Cornell and Hypocalemia with Temple. Well, everyone knows that Cyclothymia trumps Hypocalemia any day, so that was an easy one.
But there were times when it didn't work out so well, either. Like when I associated Kansas with Schizophrenia and Northern Iowa with Sleep Deprivation. That one seemed like a no-brainer, but apparently Sleep Deprivation can be pretty serious and affects more people than Schizophrenia, so Northern Iowa ended up beating Kansas and my bracket ended up going to the crapper. Luckily, almost everyone else in the competition chose Kansas to win it all, so the loss was a wash.
So March Madness has been fun and exciting, but also educational. And to be honest, I've spent more time looking up psychotic disorders than I have actually watching games. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any disorders that make a person march in place madly, as I definitely would have voted for whatever team got associated with that disorder.
But who knows, there's still time left in the NCAA men's basketball tournament, so maybe I'll find that disorder online - and update my bracket with seconds left on the clock to win it all.
The Existential Terror of Battle Royale
1 month ago