Thursday, March 25, 2010

Twilight: The Squeakquel

Betty and I watched the first half of Twilight: New Moon tonight, and I've got to be honest, it should have been called the Squeakquel - because it's all bark (er, whiny whimpering) and no bite.

In addition to the movie being really slow and boring, there were some issues with physics. For instance, when the guys turned into werewolves, their wolf bodies were much larger than their human bodies, which clearly violates the first law of thermodynamics. I mean, I'll suspend my disbelief to watch humans turn into werewolves on the drop of a dime in broad daylight, but don't mess with the first law of thermodynamics, dawg!

Even though we didn't like the movie, it did get us thinking: if we had our choice, would we rather be vampires or werewolves?

Betty didn't want to be a vampire because, apparently, vampires are cold all the time. But I said that she could sparkle, like Edward Cullen in Twilight, if she stood out in the sun. She seemed to like that. But then said that she didn't want to drink blood.

That's right, being cold outweighed drinking blood in Betty's decision to not be a vampire.

By the way, you'd think more vampires would die of malaria or blood parasites than wooden stakes through the heart. Anyway....

Betty opted to be a werewolf. Which you could have already guessed if you've been a reader for a few years, as evidenced by this particularly insightful blog post.

As for me, it was a tough call between vampire and werewolf. On the one hand, I'm hairy enough as it is without the extra hair that accompanies the curse of the werewolf. But vampires are kind of like half human, half bat, so that made me think that vampires probably crap guano. I don't know if my fixation with the bathroom would allow me to make guano like that.

So in the end, I would also have to choose werewolf.

So two questions for you, dear readers: 1) Have you seen Twilight, and if so, what did you think about it? And 2) Would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf, if given the choice?

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