Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Big Ben Roethlis-Burger

Ben Roethlisberger, the two-time Super Bowl winning quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers, was recently suspended for six games by the NFL for violating the league's personal conduct policy.

And by "violating the league's personal conduct policy," they mean he sexually assualted a girl in Georgia in a bar's bathroom while his bodyguards stood outside the door.

Pittsburgh fans are obviously torn by this decision. On the one hand, they want to see the guy punished; on the other hand, they don't want their team to lose. It's a conundrum.

So to help the Steeler fans through this difficult time, I'm proud to introduce my new fast food item:

The Big Ben Roethlis-Burger

Here are several slogans that we will be using to promote this delicious yet hard-on-the-stomach burger:

  • The Big Ben Roethlis-Burger: When you crave a greasy experience that ends in the bathroom!

  • The Big Ben Roethlis-Burger: It will "steel" your hunger... with some extra, unwanted meat!

  • The Big Ben Roethlis-Burger: It will rape your taste buds!

Have a good idea for a slogan that you'd like to share with the world? Please leave a comment!

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