Friday, May 21, 2010

Braxton Hicks Contractions

Betty is having Braxton Hicks contractions.

For those of you who don't know what these are, they're pains that a pregnant woman has when hearing either Toni Braxton or Taylor Hicks on the radio.

Okay, okay... that's not completely true. They can also occur when either one of those singers is on TV, CD, DVD or in concert.

Actually, Braxton Hicks contractions are sporadic uterine contractions that a pregnant woman can get throughout most of the pregnancy, although most women don't feel them until close to the end of the pregnancy. And they're called "Braxton Hicks" contractions because they're named after Dr. John Braxton Hicks.

Why are they named after Dr. John Braxton Hicks? Because he "named" them after himself, that's why.

I like the history of the term Braxton Hicks contractions. For millennia, women have had these contractions and had probably talked about them several billion times. We all know how women like to talk, so it's not like these things were a secret. But it was this one a-hole, Dr. John, who put his own name on something that everyone already knew was occurring.

What a true pioneer in Obstetrics.

This is an interesting phenomenon: finding something that has been around for ages and then naming it after yourself, as if you just discovered it. And since I don't think this phenomenon has a name, so I'm going to call it the "Tanory Phenomenon."

You're welcome, world.

For the moment Betty's contractions are just Braxton Hicks contractions. But when baby Plaxico Megatron Tanory is ready to come out, we'll let you know.

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