Our friend Leonard Augustus is in the Baton Rouge Little Theater's production of Rent, and Betty and I were honored to get an invitation to attend the opening night toast's before the first show.
We've been to several parties either put on by or in honor of Leonard, and they've all been very memorable so we made sure to book our babysitters well in advance. (Thanks, Grammy and Pops!)
For an example of how much fun Leonard's parties are, here's a picture of me and Betty at a Kentucky Derby party held at Leonard's house several years ago:
Yes, that's a real whip in my hand.
It's bad luck to tell someone in a show good luck. So instead, everyone told Leonard to "break a leg." Which got me thinking: We say break a leg so often and we all know it really means "good luck," so the act of telling someone to break their leg is really wishing bad luck upon the performer.
And I couldn't have that.
I wanted to say something really nice to Leonard to thank him for inviting us to the party. And I wanted to wish him the best, most memorable luck that he had ever had! But I couldn't tell him to break a leg. Instead, I had to think of a much more horrifying way to injure, maim and/or disfigure himself.
I started to tell him that I wished several STDs upon him. But that would mean that he would have to "get lucky" to get the STDs in the first place. And that would be wishing him luck. So I had to scratch that one.
I thought of telling him that I hoped he accidentally fell off the stage and into the orchestra pit, but then I realized that he'd probably break his leg if he did that... and I was trying to not tell him to break a leg!
Attacked by a dog with rabies? Get the West Nile Virus from a skeeter? Contract a blood-born pathogen introduced into his body by a splinter? There were just too many options! Brain overload!
So instead, I just told him that I was hoping he'd have a transverse fracture in one or both of his legs by the end of the night. He took it in stride.
Thanks again, Leonard, for the invitation! I hope we didn't embarrass you by hanging out by the food table all night and eating all the toffee cookies. But you have to admit, it was the best seat in the house - until the actual show started, of course!
Hacker, Hack Thyself
3 weeks ago