Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Rumpgating

I have a new pet peeve: people tailgating while walking.

I call it rumpgating, or rumping for short.

Rumping usually occurs when one person is walking really slow, and another person is trying to walk really fast but can't get around the slow-walker. Rumping also generally occurs most often in narrow hallways or when there's no room to walk around the offending slow walker.

I starting hating people who "rump" when I started to rumpgate someone this week.

(Yes, I was offended at my own behavior. This is not a natural state of mind for me, as usually I have absolutely no shame.)

There was a rather large person walking in front of me in a narrow hallway. The person was walking so slowly - if walking can be said to be what this person was doing. It was more like waddling, or purposefully taking the tiniest steps possible while taking the biggest side-steps in the history of mankind.

I needed to go around this person, but what could I do? Do the rules of the road apply to people walking in the hallways?

So I rumped.

The person looked back at me and I gave them my most dazzling smile, as if to say, "Hi! How are you? Don't mind me, I'm just rumpgating you."

This weekend I plan to take rumpgating to a whole new level by rumpgating with several friends outside a sports stadium while grilling burgers and drinking beer.

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