Sunday, October 03, 2010

Time for a New Head Coach?

Les Miles isn't the only coach under fire. There's another angry crowd of football fanatics, and they're ticked about their team's 0-4 start to the season. And if their team doesn't win the next game, they're just about to oust their head coach.

The football team in trouble is the Tantrum, the fantasy football team of the Tanory Tantrum. And the coach is none other than Bobby Tanory, the prolific blogger who obviously doesn't know jack about football even after listening to Sirius NFL Radio for a full year.

Tanory held a press conference after the game, where he was met with questions and accusations from angry fans.

"Demaryius Thomas only had 1.4 fantasy points!" one fan shouted. "How do you justify starting him?"

"Ummmm..." replied Tanory, "Mike Williams [from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers] had a bye week, so I had to play somebody. And with a name like Demaryius I figure he had to either be a good football player or a good speller. I guess I was wrong about one of those."

Another accusation hurled at Tanory: "You changed your defense from Miami to Seattle, then Seattle gets whupped by St. Louis! I mean, St. Frickin' Louis!"

Tanory looked depressed as he tried to defend himself. "Miami is playing the Patriots on Monday night, so I thought Seattle had a better chance of getting some sacks and interceptions. Seattle has a bye next week so there will be another defense in place, but there would have been one anyway after that ridiculous performance."

"Look, the buck stops here," said Tanory, pointing to a dollar bill on the floor that he had stopped with his foot, "and I take full responsibility. I played most of my Saints players because I love the Saints, but we have to understand that every team is going to give their best against the Saints because they are the defending Superbowl champions. So some of their stats are not going to be as high as other players, but what's important is that the Saints won the game."

"You suck!" shouted several onlookers, who were mostly members of Tanory's immediate family.

Tanory's fourth loss in a row was to a team called "Show me ya TD's", which was 1-2 before Sunday's contest. Tanory said he enjoyed researching "Show me ya TD's" team and scheming a game plan because his opponent's avatar was a hot naked girl holding a football over her ta-tas.

"It definitely was distracting," said Tanory. "What were we talking about again?"

Next week the Tantrum plays team "Papa Mageez", whose team is currently 2-1, but may be 3-1 after Monday. So it looks like the Tantrum will be 0-5 after next week. If that happens, Tanory plans on firing both his offensive and defensive coordinators, who are both also Bobby Tanory.

This time next week, both LSU and Tantrum fans might be calling for a new head coach. If that happens, Tanory says that he'll be happy to let Les Miles take over his fantasy team, because there's no clock management skills necessary to compete in the fantasy league.

1 comment:

bwallace said...

If you're not watching The League on Thursday nights on FX, you should be. Funny as hell, and you may get some pointers. (says the guy who is 2 and 2 but in second in his division.)