Sunday, November 07, 2010

Grammar Police

When Betty and I drove onto LSU's campus for the LSU vs. Alabama football game, I couldn't help but notice all of the people with signs that said "I need tickets."

Need? That's a pretty strong word!

Maybe if they were tickets to the Sugar Bowl and LSU was playing in it, and the tickets worth hundreds or thousands of dollars and you could scalp them in order to pay for a loved one's surgery or they would die, then yeah, that might constitute needing two tickets. But if you just drove down to Tiger Stadium on a whim and planned on buying tickets but hadn't found any yet, then I'd say that's a pretty strong WANT.

We passed by a few people with similar signs and I let it go, mainly because the people holding these signs were LSU fans. But when I pulled to the corner of Highland and State and saw a guy in an Alabama shirt holding a cardboard sign that said "Need two tickets" I couldn't help but to pull over, roll down the window and whip out my verbal editorial pen.

"Hey!" I yelled at the guy. "You don't really need two tickets! You WANT two tickets!"

The Alabama fan just looked at me like he was dumbfounded. (Although, this could just be because he was from Alabama.) His lady friend seemed confused as well.

"You only need a few things, like clean air, water, shelter and maybe companionship, but you definitely don't NEED tickets," I scolded. "It's not like your life depends on these tickets."

The guy and the girl looked at each other. Then they both looked back at me.

The guy spoke up. "Say, friend, do you happen to have any spare tickets? Because we need two tickets."

Their faces started to droop as I rolled up my window. So much for trying to impart wisdom on football fanatics.

By the way, I need tickets to the rest of the games this year. Anyone selling? And possibly also willing to babysit?

No comments: