Friday, December 03, 2010

The Countdown Begins

And so it begins... the countdown until Christmas.

I have less than a month to be on my best behavior, otherwise Santa won't bring me any presents. I have to be good because, I'm probably on Santa's naughty list. Actually, I know 100% that I'm on Santa's naughty list. The Tantrum has sources all over the world, and while I won't reveal my inside source at the North Pole, I will say that he told me that Santa was none too pleased about that time I scared the kids playing on my lawn by making a Molotov Cocktail out of one of Peter's diapers.

I thought it was funny. Santa apparently did not.

You know, for a jolly old fat man, you'd think Santa would laugh at crap like that.

Betty's my saving grace, though. She's on Santa's good list. She's a perfect angel. And my daughter, Anne, is definitely on Santa's good list, too. Peter's too young to be bad. So with all that goodness around me, some of it is bound to rub off.

So I'm spending the next 21 days on my best behavior. I'll say "please" and "thank you," will hold the door open for other people, will do some good deeds whenever I can. Hell, I'll even put the toilet seat down once in a while.

If that doesn't put me on Santa's good list, I don't know what will!

But most of all, I'll try to be nice, and will try to throw less tantrums (while writing more Tantrums). Because nothing is more depressing than no gifts on Christmas.

That reminds me: there are a lot of really great people out there who won't be getting much, or anything, for Christmas this year, through no fault of their own. Santa can't be everywhere at once, but maybe we can all lend Santa a hand this year. Betty and I, along with hundreds of other people from our church, have bought some gifts for families in need. Please visit your local church or find someone in need and give them a helping hand this holiday season. At a minimum, drop a few toys in the Toys for Tots barrels.

Remember: Santa's watching!

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