I have a great idea to kick start the economy, employ hundreds of thousands of people, and get the USA's auto manufacturing plants back up and running to full capacity. It's real simple and easy. All it takes is the following:
You get a chauffeur with every new car you buy.
Think about it! You already send a large chunk of money for your car payment each month. What if you could subscribe to a chauffeur service just like you could subscribe to Sirius, XM or OnStar? The first few months or year are free, then if you like the service, you pay a small amount tacked onto your car payment.
Kids are fighting in the backseat but you don't want to turn around to smack them while driving? No worries! You can now sit in the back seat between your kids while your chauffeur drives you to the store.
Want to check your email, stocks or Facebook account, but are too busy driving to work? You won't be too busy with your new chauffeur, courtesy of your auto manufacturer.
Traffic can be awful, and public transportation is always a hot topic in any large city, but a good public transportation system takes time and money. There are new roads to build, new tracks for a tram or subway, new bus stop signs and benches to put up, etc. But if the chauffeuring service becomes huge, then we don't need any new infrastructure or new tracks, and as a bonus we won't have to sit next to a random stranger on a bus who looks like he hasn't bathed in a few weeks.
And you wouldn't feel bad for having somebody drive you and your kids around all day... you're giving them a job that they otherwise wouldn't have. You're a hero!
The chauffeur that you employ is now paying taxes, which goes to help maintain your kids' schools and libraries, and he is now also able to afford to buy more stuff, so the economy gets better. And you can reflect on all of this on your way to work, as you lounge in the back seat of your car while your chauffeur takes the scenic route.
The Existential Terror of Battle Royale
5 weeks ago