I read online somewhere that there's no greater turn-on for a woman than to see her husband doing housework, so I did what any sane man would do and immediately started cleaning the house.
I first vacuumed. I thought this would really make Betty go wild, but unfortunately I decided to vacuum while my son Peter was sleeping. So that woke him up, which made Betty mad, and needless to say my cleaning scheme failed.
Or did it? There was still other stuff to clean, wasn't there? I thought that maybe I could clean myself out of the mess I had made.
So I called one of our neighbors and asked to borrow their steam cleaner. Imagine Betty's surprise when she caught me steam cleaning our living room after first moving most of the furniture out of the room! I could smell her pheromones raging!
I actually had to steam clean the living room twice, first because I ran out of water due to my heavy use of the "Surge" feature, and second because our living room was absolutely disgusting! We vacuum a lot, but we wanted to steam clean because Peter is starting to crawl around now, and we didn't want him crawling in icky germs.
So I wasn't surprised to find that the steam cleaner picked up a lot of crap... but I was surprised that the end result looked like someone had a diarrhea explosion into the steam cleaner bucket.
I thought I'd tell this clever joke to Betty, forgetting that doing so would put her out of the mood that I had tried so hard to get her into.
Oh well. There's still more work to do around the house, like dusting, windexing and cleaning the gutters. If I do a few of these activities during the Saints game today, maybe I'll redeem myself with Betty.
Or maybe the article that I read online about how women are turned on by men doing household chores was actually written by a woman who just wanted her husband to do some work around the house. I think I've been had!
Hacker, Hack Thyself
3 weeks ago